Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
