chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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