you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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