i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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