If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
