What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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