no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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