did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize