Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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