brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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