Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
