Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
