Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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