She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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