It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
