Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize