you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
