The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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