We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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