he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
porn star boner night. come get it.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
