I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
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