My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
