no. you can't hotbox the world.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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