Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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