One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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