I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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