Your mouth is God's brothel.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize