we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
