This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
