i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm at about main and main street
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
