Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
