I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
