yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Randomize
