I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
