By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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