tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
