I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
