I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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