just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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