i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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