escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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