Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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