we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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