Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
