there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
