So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
