I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
