Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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