I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Pants are for mortals
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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