its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
cat food counts as protein by the way
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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