she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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