No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
