I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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