dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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