I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
