??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
