Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
