would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
